Slut-shaming comes to a galaxy far, far away!

Luke Skywalker! No, seriously. I used to post, but currently lurk, at The Jedi Council Forums over at TheForce.net. Why yes, yes I AM a Star Wars geek! Thanks for asking! One of the reasons I stopped posting over there is because of the influx of Holy Rollers that just came and ruined all the fun we older posters were having. Before THEY came, we could debate topics with maturity and respectfully disagree. But proselytizers to the end, they couldn't do that and had to force their Bible-bound opinions on others and our fanverse. I started posting there in '99, back when message boards were a shadow of what they were today and being on the internet meant exercising logic and personal responsibility regardless of your age.

These days, every frakin' thing has foam padding so the kiddies don't get hurt! Anyways...I'll give some background on the character since the last time most casual fans of Star Wars saw him, at the end of Return of the Jedi (henceafter known as RotJ) This is your last chance to turn away, for I am about to GEEK the frak OUT!

[geekout] So Jedi Master Luke Skywalker got hitched about sixteen years following RotJ at the age of like, 38 to a character named untamed, independent, feisty, fiery Mara Jade. I actually liked her until they shacked her up with Luke which...domesticated her and turned her into an insufferable know-it-all with a holier-than-thou attitude, in my opinion. I'm sure a MJ fan will argue mightily with me on that point. Moving on. Before marrying Mara, however, Luke had about seven girlfriends over a span of twelve years who either died or dumped him or turned out to be a Imperial-Sith in Rebel clothing: Shira Brie/Lumiya (Dark Lady of the Sith and Imperial undercover agent), Gaeriel Captison (dumped him), Callista Ming (faked death/dumped him), Akanah Norand Goss Pell (she lied/he dumped), Jem Ysanna (dead), Tanith Shire (mutual breakup), Mary (dead), Dani (mutual breakup), Alexandra Winger (mutual breakup) and of course Mara Jade (married her, now dead, killed by his nephew).

This list of lovers ranging from non-sexual but romantic to strongly hinted sexual to sexual on a thread called "SOS: Save Our Skywalker", prompted one poster by the name of Jedi Ben to remark:

"I feel that Luke should have been more careful in the dating game. He shouldn't have had all these women so soon after one another. It made him like a s..t. if you know what I mean."

*blinks* You're slut-shaming Luke Skywalker? Is no corner of the universe safe from this crap? A previous thread topic pretty much had one poster thinking Luke Skywalker was a virgin until he married Mara Jade who, they also insisted in another thread, was a virgin.

"I just interpret all of Luke's relationships with women before Mara to have been innocent ones that never got past kisses and hugs."

HA! Let me tell ya a little something about Mara. The woman was hot. See?



She was known as an "Emperor's Hand" in her younger days, a highly-trained, dark-side assassin trained by Emperor Palpatine himself. Despite trying to kill Luke and hating his guts for years as per the Emperor's final command to her, Skywalker redeemed her and about ten years after their first meeting, they married. Mara was always drawn and portrayed as being very sexy and sensual so I highly doubt she was a virgin when she married Luke. I also can't see her wanting to marry a man who didn't know his way around the sack.

Luke I could almost buy being a virgin if not for all the extremely kinky, lascivious dreams I've had about him. It always involves a spreader bar w/metal cuffs, the Force, a lightsaber in some interesting edge play, D/s, a sex swing, an entire box of spare right hands for Luke, four hours and R2D2. Don't ask. Often described as being "serene", I just knew there was a sexual tiger lurking underneath. In fact, in one of the novels in the New Jedi Order series, Mara asks if he would prefer to be called 'Master' the way she calls him; he replied it'd be inappropriate. I KNEW he was a dom! The Force could open up an entirely new range of BDSM possibilities. I have some suggestions too! Another post... Besides, I always thought his Big Bad Daddy did him a favor chopping off his right hand. I mean, it's mechanical now! It'll never get tired or chafed! Just add some WD-40 when the parts don't move as smoothly...:)

There just seems to be this inability for some of Luke's fans, mostly male fans from my experiences, to accept the fact that this character is a sexual being. I suppose because the Force and being a Jedi is always depicted as being "spiritual" and away from the body, those fans feel the need to see him as a celibate priest. I won't even get into the debate over the Old Jedi Order (Yoda, et.al.) and its regulation that Jedi have no attachments and whether or not that meant celibacy. Lordisa, I'm not touching that one right now!

Luke's female fans, however, have no problem seeing him as sexual, often highly sexual. In both cases, fans are projecting. Anyway, there is just this overall sentiment with said Luke fanboys (and some fangirls) that the more sexual he is portrayed as being then the lesser his status as a Jedi and a hero. Grow up! Okay, so this boyishly handsome, well-built, powerful war hero, brooding yet "serene" Jedi Master got no pussy thrown at him at all before Mara? EVER? The assumption that sex is seen in a puritanical (American) viewpoint in a galaxy on the other side of the universe is a bit laughable.

And so what if he WAS a slut? As long as he respected the women and didn't knock 'em up and leave 'em, as one poster named Master Starwalker insisted, what is the harm? The same poster whose words are in the blue up there said,

When he took her [Callista] around the galaxy to try to help her restore her connection to the Force, Luke was a gentleman. He took her to romantic and beautiful places to try to get her to relax and get back in touch with the Force. However, he knew it was a trying time for her and felt it would be best if they waited until she regained her Force powers and they could marry before they had their first physical experience together beyond the touches and kisses.

Touches and kisses? What is this, Care Bear Wars? Firstly, that Luke and Callista didn't boink was never said in the text. Secondly, the woman in question had spent about thirty years as a disembodied spirit in a dreadnaught. Tell me she wasn't horny when she got a-hold of a body again! Finally, a sexual man can't be a gentleman? See, this disturbs me. It makes me wonder how this poster will treat any woman he's sexual with. Having consensual sex with a woman makes you act like less of a gentleman? Why? It should be the exact opposite. You ass. Aye, there's the rub of American sexual dysfunction: sex=everything bad. This sentiment causes more problems than any amount of "obscene" entertainment ever could. If this dude ever leaves his mom's basement (whom I'm sure he sees as a Madonna), I weep for the nerd-girl who'll pair up with him. This type of person is not a gentleman no matter how modest he may act because there is no genuine respect towards sexual women and only superficial respect toward "pure" women (that is, so long as they remain pure and modest).

Again, we see that sexuality in a person is worse than any violent leanings. Okay, yes, I know the Death Star had to be destroyed. However, how many people were killed on there thanks to Luke's sharp shooting? With the exception of Grand Moff Tarkin, none of them were evil, just on the wrong side. Luke has killed and maimed in the thousands but dear god, he has seven girlfriends over twelve years and shame on him? Really?

Slut-shaming. It's universal!