This is an honest question. And how about that? This is a "what about the men?" topic that I really want to discuss.
I am just curious to know why a man who seems to genuinely, unabashedly love and adore and enjoy the company and love of women is called a womanizer? I am not talking about men who feign interest merely to use women for their own, unsavory ends. This especially confuses men when certain feminists toss this accusation at a man who loves women and who would never have the thought to denigrate, defame or degrade a woman due to her sexual expression, opinions or experiences. This is one of the few times that a non-monogamous man is treated the similarly to a female slut. It's almost as if people cannot trust that a man can truly delight in women for the fact that she is a woman and on top of that a unique personality. These people always want that bit of hate there in a heterosexual attraction, but isn't this what we as a civilization are working against? The gender-based hatred?
Don't we, as heterosexual or bisexual women, want men to desire us for who we truly are? I thought about this after watching a special on Casanova. Without specifically analyzing his positive and negative attributes, this lover of women and all of life's other finery, is called a womanizer. Some men who are assigned this label are indeed very negative in their approach to women and seem to only aim to hurt as many as possible. Others are slandered or libeled with this simply for enjoying women to their fullest ability.
I remain confused.
4 comments:
Hello Aspasia,
I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner but I just noticed that you linked to a blog post that I wrote a few months ago about what black people's hair looks like. I've written a response to your comments on my blog and you're welcome to check them out and/or respond if you like.
Who is a real "black person"?
Hi bint,
No offense, but I will not read or respond to your post. I said what I needed to say on my blog and the reason I posted my feelings here and not as a comment response on your blog is because I really didn't want to start an argument. Not on your turf. This is a sore subject for me for the reasons listed in my post. It is also a subject that I do not debate anymore though, obviously, I do rant about it on occasion.
I'm sure this seems rude or undiplomatic but that's just a fact of the matter.
To get back to your original question, Aspasia.
I am a man who likes the company of women, whether they are sexual partners or not - the latter being by far predominant. I like your use of the word "delight" - for that is truly what I feel I am around women who openly express who they are. Whether this makes me a woman-lover or a womaniser, I have no idea and do not really care. I love women so the former label seems more accurate but I am sure that the latter is applied to me by others. And, I agree, it is possibly the closest male adjective to "slut".
But what the hell, I am what I am and have no desire to change. I enjoy it too much
Thank you for responding Brian! I think you and I are in agreement (and like your site btw) on this topic. I just get confused when I hear people say, "Oh, he's a womaniser! He's always flirting with them, etc." The activity isn't negative yet the label those men are given certainly has a negative tone to it.
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